Ponderings
by JamSack
Summary: Ponderings by Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermionie about the end of Book 5. :)


A/N: This is just a really short thing that I wrote last year when I was bored. Like it don't, like it, just read it please!

**Ponderings -  
Summer Post-OotP**

Harry sat dejectedly on the steps outside of number 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging. He had been like this all summer. His Aunt and Uncle hadn't bothered asking him why he was so gloomy, only Dudley teased him about it. But Harry didn't get angry or rise to his taunts, he just sat there as if he was in a dream.  
His nightmares had become much worse, although he still tried to block his mind, determined that no one else should suffer because of his foolishness. His nightmares of Cedric and the graveyard had been pushed to the back of his mind by nightmares of Bellatrix Lestrange and Sirius duelling, Sirius falling behind the black veil, Harry screaming, Lupin holding him back, Bellatrix laughing...her heavy lidded eyes rose up in shock as she realised he was telling the truth about the smashed prophecy...Voldemort possessing him...  
Harry gave a shudder though it was daylight.  
'Harry!' Arabella Figg came up to him in her dressing gown and curlers. 'Harry', she said. 'I went to Diagon Alley and got you some things to help.' She handed him a little bottle of capsules and a brown book.  
'"Death, the next great adventure" by Nicolas Flamel', he read from the cover. Harry looked at the small green bottle. '"Skiving Snackboxes?'" Mrs Figg, snatched the bottle from Harry and replaced it with a yellow one. 'Sorry, they're for my niece. She goes to Beauxbatons. These ones make the grief go away for a while.'  
'Oh all right. Thanks Mrs Figg.'  
She looked down at the fifteen-year-old boy, seeing his dark sad eyes, evidence of the heavy burden that he had to bear, the death of his godfather, and the revelation that he must be a murderer or a victim.  
'Harry dear, you'll be all right. No one blames you for his death...' She trailed off when she saw his face. He had tears in his eyes.  
'Dumbledore says he'll let you go to The Burrow next week. Only a little while longer with the Dursley's, eh?' She looked down at Harry who just sat on the ground staring blankly.  
Er... I have to go now. Bye Harry.'  
Mrs Figg walked off feeling a little perturbed. What could she say to a boy who just lost the closest thing he had to father?

'Harry!' Mrs Weasly rushed to Harry and enveloped him in a hug. 'How are you, dear?' She said taking his bags upstairs. 'I'm fine thanks, Mrs. Weasly.' Molly looked at the boy, and felt ill as she thought of what Harry might be feeling. No one his age should have to go through this.  
'Here you are.' She opened the door to Ron's room. I'll let you get settled and then you come down for dinner at five o'clock and say hi to everyone, hmm?' She left the room, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts.

'Hi Harry!' Ginny said as Harry came downstairs for dinner. 'Hi', he said softly.  
Ginny sat back on her bed thinking about Harry which she had done a lot over the holidays with fear embedded in her.  
He had been forced to mature so quickly. First from living with the Dursleys as he was compelled to be independent. Then from finding out the truth about his parents, the Wizarding world and Voldemort. Also having to face him again, and then the next year to save herself. Meeting Sirius, dealing with the fact that his parents were betrayed by their friend. And then meeting the Dark Lord for a fourth time, seeing Cedric murdered, being tortured. And finally last year, watching him struggle with his dreams, Umbride's tyranny, and finally the death of his godfather. She didn't know what happened with Bellatrix and Harry in the atrium, she didn't want to nose about. Harry had enough to struggle with, without everyone asking him questions. He had so much to bear, more than fully-grown wizards or muggles had ever gone or probably ever will go through. Harry literally had the weight of the wizarding world on his shoulders. She hated seeing him go through that alone. Didn't he understand that he needed someone to be there for him? Like her. The one person he could relate to having faced Voldemort as well and felt his power-  
'Ginny!' Her mother called. 'Time for dinner.'

Dinner was a big event that night at The Burrow. Most of the Order were there and everyone was cheerful to be together enjoying each others company. Everybody was happy to see Harry, looking well and somewhat happy. He had rallied his spirits so no one would ask if he was all right. He hated that.  
Mrs Weasly had cooked up an absolute feast, so that Harry felt no compulsion to eat only to keep from talking.  
'Harry!' Remus Lupin came and sat down next to him. 'How are you doing?'  
Harry's mouth was full of mashed potato so Lupin talked some more, trying to keep the conversation as casual as possible. 'Did you have a good summer so far? Were the Dursleys treating you right? Harry nodded, eating as slowly as he could manage. Remus sensed his discomfort. 'All right then, Harry. I'll talk to you later.' Remus glanced a worried look in Molly's direction who was also keeping an eye on Harry and went to sit down with her. They began talking quietly.  
Harry sighed, knowing that they were talking about him.  
Nearly five hours later as the sun started to go down Mrs Weasly began to clear the table. Everyone had finished eating and conversations were winding down as they were all to full and drowsy to talk. Remus went to help Molly wash up so Harry took his chance to go for a walk while they weren't watching him. Unknown to him, Ginny was watching out for him also.

Harry wondered around for a while breathing in the clean country air. He came to a small glade and sat down on a boulder, quietly thinking. A small tear trickled down his cheek, he brushed it away angrily. Stop it, Harry, he thought to himself. You're not a child anymore! Sirius would want you to be brave.  
A rustle of leaves startled him out of his thoughts. He looked behind him.  
Ginny was standing there, her face pale and worried.  
'Is this your sanctuary, Harry?' She asked sitting down on the boulder next to him. Harry nodded slowly, not sure if he wanted company. 'It's all right, Harry. I won't tell anyone.'  
She saw him shaking from the cold and carefully put her arms around him into a warm, comforting hug. Harry felt soothed by her presence.  
'Ginny', he said. 'Do you know why Voldemort tried to kill me when I was a baby?'  
'No', she shook her scarlet locks. 'No one knows. Does it have something to do with The Prophesy?'  
'Yes. The letters at the top, they were the initials of the prophesier and whom it was given to: Sybill Patrise Trelawny to Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.  
'Professor Trelawny?' Ginny was surprised, but Harry looked as though he wanted to continue. She fell silent and listened once more to his flat unemotional voice.  
'It was given before I was born and Professor Dumbledore showed it to me. She said, that the one who would destroy Voldemort would be born in July, to parents who had escaped him three times. That he will mark him as his equal. And that "neither can live while the other survives."'  
'Ginny.' Harry dropped to his knees. 'I have to kill Voldemort or be killed myself.'  
Harry was sobbing openly on the ground and Ginny longed to kiss away his troubles. Instead she sat down next to him, holding him, rocking him gently.  
'Harry', she began, feeling his body shaking under her embrace. 'You have a lot to bear. I don't know what to say to make it better. I don't think there's anything anyone can say to make it better.'  
'You don't have to say anything', he mumbled. 'I just need you to be here for me. Please.' He pleaded.  
'I will Harry. I'll always be here for you.'

Ron climbed up the hill with Hermione, looking for Harry and Ginny.  
'Bloody hell! Where are they?' Ron said puffing slightly.  
'Don't swear, Ron!' Hermione said automatically.  
'Whatever.' He answered, wanting to avoid an argument. That was the last thing Harry needed.  
Hermione sat down on the grass hugging her knees as a cold wind passed them. It seemed as if the coldness had been there all summer.  
'Herms', Ron mused sitting down next to her. 'Did you ever think Hogwarts would be like this when you got your letter? So many complications and...danger...' He left it hanging.  
'Well, c'mon Ron. It's not like the muggle worlds totally immune to evil. And I read fairytales when I was younger. And of course I knew that they weren't real, but they probably have some basis of fact to it, now that I know magic is real. And, well they were all about, good and love prevailing over evil and hatred. So when I got my letter...I thought, well sure there are bad wizards, I just didn't realise how bad...and they can do much worse things to people because of magic' She took a deep breath.  
' I've grown up with stories of...him all my life and I could never comprehend the full extent of his power and darkness.' Ron sighed.  
It started to get dimmer and a shadow fell over them, giving them chills as they thought about the dark wizard who had ruined so many lives.  
'Hey Ron? I'm worried about Harry. I think there's something he's not telling us. I think there's something more to his behaviour than Sirius...'  
'C'mon Hermione, he's had it rough! Give the poor guy a break! He has a right to be sad about Sirius. Who wouldn't be? And if there is something more he has a right to keep it to himself!'  
'I am giving him a break!' She retorted. 'I'm not asking him about it, am I? It would just be better for him if he told us what's up instead of distancing himself from us!'  
Hermione looked up at him and was surprised to see Ron smiling. She chuckled.  
'Ron. Let's not fight this year. For Harry's sake.'  
'And the rest of Gryffindor Tower.' He joked. He saw the look on her face. 'I know, Herms.  
I will, if you promise to let me win all the arguments!' His eyes sparkled with mirth which Hermione didn't see.  
'As if, Ronald Weasly! You always start them anyway!' He laughed at her agitation.  
'Don't poke fun of me, Ron.'  
They grinned at each other, their eyes meeting each other. Hermione suddenly blushed and looked away.  
Suddenly Ron became serious. Carefully he took his best friends hand and rubbed it comfortingly. 'Don't worry about Harry too much Hermione. _We_ can look after him.' He took her other hand. 'Together.' She slipped her arm around his waist.  
The sun went down, covering them in darkness.  
'Together,' she repeated softly.

_Finis_


End file.
